When you say “my anxiety wont let me…” here’s what you’re really saying.
My mom/dad would be upset with me
My friends would judge me
My culture would be embarrassed of me
My family would ostracize me
My peers would laugh at me
My church would condemn me
My teachers would yell at me
My fear of being alone would paralyze me
And on and on….
But hopefully you get the picture.
Anxiety is not some invisible force within you that comes from something you’re lacking, or doing to much of.
It’s the result of external pressures that have been held inside for too long, and the internal message of “something’s not right” is trying to come out.
It’s trying to help you. The constant judgment and criticism… the sideways remarks that seemed innocent on the surface.. the pressure to fit into expectations or you’d somehow be disappointing someone… Your body knew those things didn’t feel right. They were all boxes that society or family systems *really* wanted you to fit in.
In order to keep performing, we stifle those messages from our body a lot of the time, and then later find ourselves overwhelmed by the physical consequences. Nerves on high alert, impending sense of urgency or doom, lack of concentration, racing thoughts, maybe even palpitations or nausea. Those aren’t symptoms that mean something is wrong with you. Or that you have a lifelong struggle to overcome. They’re guideposts to lead you deeper, if you’re willing.
Sometimes support can even begin with noticing more subtle layers like:
my gut health is struggling to support my physical and mental load
my hormones are off balance and my stress levels don’t help with that
my diet is lacking in certain nutrients that could really help me with this issue
This is why my coaching always meets you where you’re at: some people may feel more comfortable tackling the physical root, then seeing how you feel.
Whatever your situation looks like, know that anxiety doesn’t have to be a companion you carry with you forever. And it certainly doesn’t have to be your authority figure! You CAN decide what you want your life to look like. No one has to “let you” anymore. You have the tools to handle life from an empowered place, maybe you just weren’t taught how to use them yet.
