Finding Freedom in My Body: A Journey of Healing and Self-Compassion

For a long time, I lived in a constant battle with my body. It wasn’t that I didn’t care about it, but it felt like I was fighting against it, trying to control everything in order to feel a sense of power over my life. I struggled with anorexia for years—trying to make the number on the scale smaller, focusing on the reflection in the mirror, all while ignoring what I was really feeling inside. I thought that controlling my body would give me control over my life, but all it did was deepen my sense of powerlessness.

When I eventually turned to the keto diet, I thought I’d found my solution. But what I didn’t expect was brittle hair, aging skin, and acne, plus the internal damage slowly creeping up on me. I spent countless hours journaling my exercise routines, tracking my weight, and obsessively counting macros. But all of it—exercise, food, everything—was just another form of restriction. It wasn’t helping me heal; it was feeding my orthorexia, which was just another label for the same kind of self-punishment I had been practicing for years.

I knew I needed to feel better in my body, but I didn’t know how to get there. What I thought would be the path to healing was just another way of holding myself hostage with guilt, shame, and endless restriction. It wasn’t until I found HMI Wellness, the school where I received my certification as a holistic health coach, that I truly started to understand what it means to support my body in a healthy, loving way.

It was there that I learned that true wellness starts from a place of self-compassion, not self-punishment. I learned that healing isn’t about denying myself or trying to be perfect. It’s about listening to my body, nourishing it, and supporting its natural detox processes. I finally discovered how to care for my body, not from a place of fear or guilt, but from a place of love.

Embarking on a plant-based journey was the turning point for me. Not only did it feel like I was treating my body with the respect it deserved, but I also started to see a profound shift. My skin cleared up, my energy levels skyrocketed, and I honestly felt like I was aging backwards. I felt ten years younger than I did in my early adulthood, and I finally started to embrace my body—not as something to control or punish, but as something to nurture and honor.

What I’ve learned from my own journey is that true healing happens when we stop fighting against ourselves and instead learn to work with our bodies. I’m now able to show up for myself in a way that is rooted in kindness, compassion, and the understanding that my body is not an enemy. It’s my partner, my friend, and the one thing I get to live in for this lifetime.

If you’re on your own journey toward healing, I want you to know that you don’t have to do it alone. The path to feeling better in your body doesn’t need to be one of restriction or guilt. It can be a path of empowerment, self-compassion, and love. You deserve to feel good in your skin. And when you start from a place of nurturing yourself—mind, body, and soul—you’ll be amazed at the changes you can make.

If you’re ready to explore how you can start your own journey toward wellness and healing, I’d love to guide you in finding the path that works best for you. You’ve got this. ❤️

-Ashana.