Find Magic.
“You can find magic in everything. It may not be magic in the way that you’re thinking, because you have an expectation that magic has to be grand gestures.” ~ Liana Shanti, New Moon Manifesting program
A journal prompt of sorts:
Thank you, God, for all that I have been given. There is magic in…
My children’s relentless quest for joy. No matter what happens, no matter the discomfort that is placed upon them, they continue to seek comfort and happiness for themselves. They continue to focus on the path before them through a lens of desire. How beautiful, to disallow limiting beliefs, to boldly seek happiness despite pitfalls.
So many times, I have become flustered with the neediness of others. With MY OWN need to please. It never occurred to me that I could simply focus on myself and narrow my vision to include only those things which promote happiness. If it causes me turmoil, why don’t I simply x it out and put that energy into something meaningful?
That focus, of course, extends to my children. I envelop them into my energy field and I care deeply for them- physically, spiritually, emotionally, financially.. the list seems to stretch on and on. Especially on days where I don’t quite feel like there is enough of me. But I am choosing to become flustered with certain situations, by unconsciously NOT choosing joy. I miss out on moments of joy because I am too busy keeping myself busy! If I stop and look at my situation anew, it begins to take on a different meaning..
What a blessing, to realize that my children feel so comfortable and safe with me, that they can voice their opinions. They they can loudly and proudly proclaim their desires- and most of the time, they can expect them to be met. Sometimes with compromise, sometimes completely. But they KNOW. They are safe. They matter. They can seek joy and not survival.
When something is not going the way they envisioned, they know that they can come to me and vocalize their displeasure. They can express disappointment. They can release anger. And they can also feel entitled to peace at the end, knowing that they deserve to be happy and content. If a compromise is necessary, they find that sliver of benefit for them, that one piece of the puzzle that leaves them feeling satisfied and in control of their trajectory. They drink it up and come back for more, each day consuming all that life has to offer, no need to hold back.
And when the going gets tough, when they can’t quite find the joy they’re seeking, they know that Mom is going to be there for them, no matter what. I know this, because I’m the one they run to. They lay their burdens onto me. They trust me to hold that pain. How humbling. How absolutely earth shattering to realize that. I am NEVER “not enough.” There is plenty of me. I am doing EXACTLY what I am called to do.
It feels like too much sometimes, because I have forgotten where to lay it all down. I don’t have a Mom to run to. And sometimes that makes me really sad. No wonder I feel forlorn, or lonely, or forgotten. I’ve never actually let anyone hold my pain before, I’ve just carried it around all these years and then heaped more on top of it, trying to be enough for others. I have never known, before now, how to nurture myself. It’s quite a journey.
On days like today, I capture little moments to breathe deeply. To cry quietly. Sometimes, to walk outside and cry loudly. Scream. Sob. I find ways to lay it down. And I am learning, oh so slowly, that dropping my burdens is enough. Feeling those fears is enough. Admitting my loneliness is enough. The Divine hears me. I am seen. I am heard. I am loved. This gives me the respite I need to carry on, to be who my kids need.
Thank you, God, for giving me a moment of peace and clarity to see this beautiful transformation taking place.
They are helping me heal my own past. They are helping me see my own light.
They are absolutely magnificent.
My kids are magical.
